Rewriting Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC #1) Page 6

  My heart starts beating so fast I think it’s going to jump right out of my chest. I run over to my bag to pull my phone out and unlock the screen, eager to get to my message. I’m not sure why I thought it was from Zane, but I am sorely disappointed when I see it is from Gunnar.

  Gunnar: Good morning beautiful. I was wondering if I could pick you up for school…

  Me: Good morning to you too. I wouldn’t mind a ride if you are offering. What time will you be here?

  I put my phone down to grab my OJ and put a bagel in the toaster for breakfast, but I barely manage to get across the kitchen before my phone is going off again.

  Gunnar: I’m outside your house now ;)

  Not sure if that should make me happy or a little freaked out, I decide to go with the former. I type a quick reply that I’ll be out soon and finish making my breakfast.

  Once I have my bagel in hand, I give a quick wave to Gram and grab my book bag.

  “Hey,” Gunnar says and then leans in to kiss my cheek. That one action has me smiling and my mood lifting a little.

  “Hey, yourself,” I say as we walk to his truck. He opens my door and once I’m situated inside, he jogs over to his side and hops in. Before he pulls out onto the road, he leans over and kisses my lips softly.

  “Mmm, this is what I’ve been missing for the past five days.” I haven’t seen Gunnar since the day he came over to take me to pick up my car. With trying to spend as much time as I could with Zane before he left, then saying goodbye to him, I didn’t have the energy for anything else. I feel bad, but when I talked to Gunnar Wednesday morning, he assured me he understood.

  “I’ve missed it too,” I say shyly. This whole having a relationship deal is still new to me, but it feels nice. He grabs my hand and starts the drive to the school. He’s able to navigate through town, heading in the right direction. I almost ask how he knows where he’s going but dismiss it. I’m sure he’s been there since moving here to fill out paperwork. Plus, this town is small. It wouldn’t be hard to figure out even if he has never been there before.

  Five minutes later, we are pulling into the parking lot. He finds a spot in the middle, then jumps out and walks over to my side. I’ve already got the door open and I’ve started to slip out when he grabs me by my waist. “I’ve got ya, babe.” Once I’ve got both feet firmly on the ground, he leans in to give me a quick peck on my nose and closes the door. We both grab our bags and start the trek to the front doors of the school.

  On the way, we pass a couple of the popular groups that hang out outside until the first bell rings. I’m usually not so self-conscious, but walking into the school with Gunnar has me feeling not so sure of myself. Maybe it’s because this is the first year I’m without Zane by my side, or at least close by. Or it could be that I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so everything seems so weird. Whatever it is, I try not to let it get to me. I lift my chin and we continue on our way.

  Once we are through the doors, I walk with Gunnar to the office to grab his schedule and locker arrangements.

  “I’ll see you at lunch, if not before?” he asks me.

  I smile at him and nod. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

  He leans in to give me a quick kiss before I walk down the hall to my locker. He sure likes to kiss a lot. I’m not sure yet if this bothers me or not, but I figure I’ll get used to it. Feeling wanted by anyone besides my grandmother and Zane is new to me, so it will take time.

  My first class of the day is English, so after dropping my bag off in my locker, I head that way. Since I don’t have a lot of friends, I have no reason to delay getting to the classroom. At least this way I can try to get a seat in the back so I don’t have to worry about being called on often.

  I walk in, and thankfully there are only two other students there, who have both chosen seats in the front row. I don’t know who they are except for their first names, and I really don’t care. I accepted the fact early on that I don’t need friends. I have people that I talk to every once in a while, and then there are a couple of girls that I hang out with at parties, but no one that I confide in or look forward to talking with. It makes choosing a spot much easier, since I don’t have to try to save seats. My days in school are boring, but I’m not there to do anything but learn, so I don’t care.

  Ten minutes later, Mr. Murray starts class by doing roll call and handing out our books. He jumps right in to what he expects of us this semester. English isn’t my favorite class, but it’s one I excel in. I don’t mind reading or writing papers, so when he tells us at the end of the semester we have to write a ten-thousand-word essay on a book from a list he gives us, it doesn’t faze me.

  Second period I have Phys Ed, third period is Geometry, and the last class before lunch is Chemistry. The morning goes surprisingly fast, which I’m grateful for. I’m a little nervous about meeting Gunnar at lunch, though I’m not sure why. I get to my locker and drop off my books. Then I head to the cafeteria. Once I’m in line, I spare a quick glance through the room to see if I can spot him. By the time I make it to the food I still haven’t seen him, so I grab what food I want and head to the table outside, where I usually sit. I like eating outdoors whenever it’s possible, since I’m inside all day.

  I’ve barely sat down and started to open my soda when someone joins me at the table.

  “Hey, Danielle. How has your first day been going?”

  The guy is not someone I’ve talked with much before, but I’ve seen him around hanging with the rest of the football players at parties. Jaxon Reynolds is a quarterback, but has never seen any game time because Zane had been first string since his sophomore year. I’m really not sure why Jaxon is sitting by me, which makes me a little uncomfortable.

  “Um, hey, Jaxon. I, uh, guess my day has been fine so far. H-How has your day been?” I have no idea what to say to him but don’t want to be rude. Who knows, maybe this will be a year that I will come out of my shell and maybe even make some real friends.

  “Well, it was going good, but recently tipped the scale to great,” he says with a smirk that makes me think I’m missing something.

  Not knowing what else to say, I nod. “That’s good to hear.” Then I go back to opening my soda and start picking at my food.

  Thinking he’ll just get up and leave, I don’t pay him any more attention or say anything else, but a minute later he’s still there. I look around to see if there is a group of his friends pointing and laughing like this is some dare he’s been put up to, but I don’t notice anyone even looking our way. I decide to let it go for now.

  He asks me what classes I have this year, and how softball was last season. I politely answer his questions, and since he asked me about softball, I ask how the start of the football season is going. I’m half-listening and half trying to decide if this is something that should concern me or not. Since he has never made an effort to socialize with me before, I feel like this is a big joke and the laugh is on me. As he’s in the middle of telling me about how good he thinks the team will be this season, he looks up at something behind me and stops talking. He gets this confused expression on his face as he glances at me, and then at whatever caught his attention. Before I can turn around and see what he’s looking at, someone wraps their arms around me. I stiffen at first because I’m not used to having anyone grab me like that, but then I remember Gunnar.

  “Hey, beautiful,” I hear him say close to my ear. I smile and turn toward him to return the greeting, but notice his attention isn’t on me; it’s on the person sitting across from me.

  I don’t think they have met each other yet, so I decide to introduce them. “Jaxon, this is Gunnar. He moved here from Florida. Gunnar, this is Jaxon. He’s a senior as well.”

  After my awkward introduction, they still stare at each other, almost like they’re sizing each other up. Like I said, I’m new to this whole relationship thing, but if I didn’t know better I would say that Gunnar thinks Jaxon is stepping on his territory. I’ll have to tell him later
when we’re alone that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone trying to steal me away from him. I’ve been going to this school all my life and no one has ever shown any interest in me until he came along.

  After a few more tense moments between the two, they finally seem to loosen up. “Hey, man, nice to meet you,” Gunnar says. Then he sits down next to me and pulls me closer against him.

  “Yeah, you too,” Jaxon replies, as he looks at Gunnar and me like he’s trying to figure us out. “Uh, how do you guys know each other if you’re new here?”

  Before I can answer him, Gunnar gives a small laugh. “We met about a week ago at a party out by the lake. I saw her and decided I better make my move. I wasn’t sure if she was with anyone, but figured if she was, I would have to change that and claim her as mine. And have I told you lately how glad I am that I did, babe?” He finishes by looking down at me with a smile on his face.

  I don’t like the way this conversation is going, but I don’t know if this is a normal thing for a guy to do when he sees another guy talking to his girlfriend. I wish I could ask Zane, but that's not going to happen. And I especially don’t like the way Gunnar is staking a claim on me, like I’m a possession. I’ve seen plenty of guys go caveman on girls before, and it has never been something I thought I would want. Turns out, I was right. It makes me go from feeling wanted and cared for to ashamed and pissed off. I’ll definitely be having a talk with him sooner rather than later. I don’t want to become one of those girls that lets a guy control her; I’ve heard how relationships like that end. It starts off almost innocent, like this seems now, then turns controlling and in most cases becomes violent. There is no way I will let that happen to me.

  Instead of answering, I give him a little smile and finish my sandwich. Lunch is almost over, and I want to get to my next class. “Well, I better get going. I’ll see you later,” I say as I stand.

  He grabs my hand and stands with me. “What class do you have now?” he asks, pulling me closer to him.

  “Uh, I think I have Government,” I tell him. This day seems to be going from bad to worse. I just want to get to my next class so I can be over and done with this.

  “I’ve got English with Ms. Liner, I think. Then I’ve got a free period, so if you want to skip out early, come find me,” he says with a wink. I have no clue whether he is joking or not, but decide to not comment on it.

  “Okay, well, I’ll see you later. Nice talking with you, Jaxon,” I throw over Gunnar’s shoulder and walk toward the door to head back inside. But again, before I can get too far, Gunnar wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back to him. I’m so surprised that I slam into his chest. He doesn’t give me any time to recover before he grabs my face and kisses me. I’m too shocked to kiss him back, but he soon lets me go and walks away. I think I may start taking my lunch in the art room like I used to do before Zane got me to start sitting with him. At least that way I would be able to eat in peace and not have to worry about getting in the middle of a pissing contest that I have no interest being involved in. Maybe this whole relationship deal isn’t for me, or maybe just not with Gunnar. I need time to think this through.

  My last two periods are both in the art room. I have a free period, and instead of taking a study hall, I asked Mr. Tillman if he would be okay with me helping him out. He’s always been my favorite teacher, and he has never had a problem with me. In fact, he has told me numerous times that I have an amazing talent and if there is anything I need, to let him know. So it came as no surprise that he was okay with letting me be his T.A.

  Since art class isn’t really a class with homework and most students use it as a free period anyway, there isn’t much for me to do to help out around the classroom. Mr. Tillman says that I can use that time to work on my homework or draw. I figure at least until I know what the work load will be this year, I should take advantage of having extra time for my drawing. My free period bleeds into the next, and since I don’t have to change classes, I continue at my easel in the corner of the room to get as much done on my drawing as possible.

  Since I've been taking art since my freshman year, Mr. Tillman lets me draw whatever I want now. Sometimes I choose to do what he tells the other students to draw, but today I want to draw freehand. I’ve had a lot on my mind these last few months, and since I’ve been trying so hard to spend time with Zane this summer, I really haven’t been able to draw much lately.

  When I started this picture, I wasn’t sure what it would turn out to be. I just let my pencil flow. When Mr. Tillman says to start clean up because class is almost over, I finally step back to look at what I have drawn. It’s a bunch of lines and swirls around the edges, but as you get to the middle, you can make out the back of a truck. As I stare at it, I finally realize what it is: it’s Zane driving away.

  Chapter 7

  Today was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. In some ways, the time went at a slug’s pace. I think the only reason it felt so slow was because I was counting down the months, weeks, and then days before Zane would be home again. He hasn’t been back since the day he left, and we barely get to talk on the phone. Mostly, I get short text messages asking how I am doing, how Gram is feeling, how things are going with Gunnar, and if he is treating me okay. Since I don't want to get into my relationship, I keep my answers short and turn them around on him. Though when I ask how college life is going, I get one word answers like “good” or “fine”.

  Then when I ask about football and when I can come see one of his games, he quickly changes the subject. It seems the only time he talks about football is when I ask if he is coming home or if I can visit him. He’ll say that he is too busy with practices and training that he can’t come home or that I shouldn’t make the trip because he won’t be able to spend time with me. I’m not sure if it’s because Zeke isn’t there and maybe his emotions are all over the place when it comes to football, or maybe he really is busy, but it’s like he’s trying to keep me away. It doesn’t sound like football is as important to him anymore, but it is always there as an excuse when he needs one. I hope that’s not the case, because it’s the one thing that should make him feel closer to his brother.

  My relationship with Gunnar has been touch and go since school started. I find myself ignoring him more often than not, and I’ve noticed that he has gotten more arrogant and aloof as the days pass. When we do hang out, I long for the way we were that first night we met. Conversation came easy, and I could feel that he cared about me. Now, it seems like it’s all a front. I want to ask him what we are doing, but I’m scared to hear the answer. Even though I don’t feel for him what I probably should or wish I did, I fear that he will tell me he doesn’t want me, and it will cut me deep to hear that yet another person I’ve gotten close to feels that way. Like I’ll never be good enough to keep or stay with.

  I am just getting in the door from school when I hear my cell phone ping, but before I can check out the text message, it starts ringing. Gunnar.

  “Hello?” I answer as I start walking into the kitchen to grab an apple.

  “Hey, beautiful. What are you doing tonight?”

  Not really in the mood to go out, I try coming up with a viable excuse. “Um, well, I have to clean up the house and get ready to make pies for tomorrow.” That is better than telling him I don't want to hang out with him.

  If it were Zane asking me, I would drop everything to spend time with him. I thought after a while I would stop comparing or dropping Zane into scenarios where Gunnar and I were concerned, but Zane is still all I can think about. I know it’s not fair to Gunnar, but Zane is my everything. I only wish I could tell him that and have him return those feelings.

  “Can’t your grandma do that? There’s a party tonight.” There’s always a party he wants to go to. But since Zane is no longer here, parties just aren’t the same for me. I end up sipping on one drink, wishing I was at home or that Zane would walk up with a bottle of Jack for us to share like he always did. But then
I remember he’s away at college and I feel the crushing grief of him not being here all over again. The pain hasn’t lessened even a little since I watched him drive away.

  “You know she hasn’t been feeling well lately. I’m sorry, but I can’t go,” I say, irritated. He should know by now that Gram is more important to me than anything else, and I have been taking on a lot more to make things easier for her. I shouldn’t even have to explain it; it’s a given. Zane would never question me when it comes to my grandmother. Maybe it is time to break it off with Gunnar. With all the thoughts in my head still about Zane, what we are doing feels like a charade. It’s not real, and it’s not going anywhere. It would be better for both of us to end it.

  “Yeah, okay, whatever. I guess I'll just talk to you later.” I can tell he’s pissed, but what’s new?

  “Bye, Gunnar,” I say into the phone, but I barely get that out before the line goes dead.

  I don’t want to ruin this Thanksgiving break for either of us, so I decide to wait till we get back to school to have a talk with him. Sit down and explain to him that it would probably be better if we were only friends. Maybe then we can go back to the carefree relationship we had at the beginning. He really is a great person, but he’s not who I want to be with romantically. Not like we have done anything more than make out, even though he’s tried. I haven’t told him I’m a virgin, but he must know. Every time his hands wander, I pull back from him. I can tell he gets upset, but he’s gentleman enough not to push or say anything.